Love Now & Dissect Later

"Everyone is preoccupied with trying to figure out what life is all about.  By the time they figure it out, the show is over."

-Leo Buscaglia

Tom and I were sitting in at least 10 lanes of traffic filled with cars as far as you could see, both in back of us, and looking forward. Moving side to side was also not possible.  
We were lining up to pay our $6 toll to cross the Bay Bridge into San Francisco and realized that we were in the wrong lane to pay with cash. We needed to move one lane to the right in this sea of traffic…simple enough, right?

Tom turned on his blinker and positioned the front of the car toward the lane next to us. Instead of the cars creating a place to merge into the cash lane, the cars began to tighten up, not allowing us to merge.

As we waited for someone to please let us in, we blocked the traffic lane we occupied. Drivers behind us began to honk their horns of encouragement to move so they could continue. It was a mess; we were stuck and nobody was willing to let us in.  

Just as our anxiety began to reach full panic mode, we spotted an arm waving to us six cars ahead in our much-needed cash lane. We were immediately filled with hope and an abundance of gratitude for this precious soul who saw our predicament behind her and made a choice to help out a fellow traveler.

We sped forward as this wonderful woman allowed us to enter the cash lane in front of her. To show our appreciation for her act of kindness, we decided we would pay her toll.  

It was now our turn at the toll both. We handed the man in the booth enough money to pay for our car and the sweet woman behind us.  The man in the booth said, “Okay, no problem.” And, Tom and I pulled forward, watching with anticipation in our rear view mirror for the man in the booth to wave the women through; a confirmation that she had indeed received our gift of gratitude.


We watched as the woman reached into her purse and handed money to the man in the booth…


Tom and I look at each other stunned as we tried to make sense of what just happened.

Tom blurted out, "The booth man took our money!" I replied, “He stole our money, what do we do now?

Tom is and always has been the voice of reason and sees the good in any given situation. It is one of the many things I love about him.  

You know babe, we don’t know what he is going through. Maybe he is sick, maybe he has a sick wife or child…maybe we ourselves would feel justified in pocketing money every chance we had for just needing to sit in that booth everyday. We just don’t know…let it go. Stay focused on the GOOD!” he strongly encouraged.

Try as I might, I just couldn’t let it go. Not because Mr. Booth Man took our money, but because the woman would never know how much her act of kindness meant to me. I wanted to be able to acknowledge her gesture in some way, for stepping up when no one else would. 

“What can I do to acknowledge and keep this spark of human compassion and kindness alive?” I asked myself. 

My answer came to me and I grabbed my wallet, pulled out more cash, and said to Tom, “Don’t worry, keep driving. I will find you.” He stared at me in disbelief as I opened the passenger door and ran with bare feet back through traffic to the woman’s car. 

The car was older and had seen many miles but the woman inside was bright, with a beautiful smile and a look of surprise as I knocked on her car window. As she rolled the window down, I flooded her with words of emotional gratitude, as well as explained how we had tried to pay for her toll.

She tried to refuse the money by saying it was really no big deal and not necessary, however, I insisted.  

Her eyes welled up with tears, and we were both crying in a sea of traffic on the Bay Bridge as two human souls connected for just a brief precious moment in time.  

I felt peace once again inside myself as I turned and began my search for Tom in the sea of cars.

"Stay focused on the GOOD!"  I remember Tom saying in the car.

Love now, and dissect later. Otherwise, you miss the opportunities for connection with others. 

Where are you focusing in your own relationships right now…on the good? 

If you’re not, don’t feel bad or beat yourself…just begin to look for the good, the love, the connection that is all around you waiting for you to embrace it.

Connection with others is critical to our happiness and wellbeing.

If you are having challenges with knowing how to create deep connection with others, I encourage you to dive into our blog series that begins with Deep Intimate Committed relationships. This series will walk you through the steps for creating connection. Begin the series here

Now get going.Don’t miss out on creating some love and connection in your life right now. 

And remember: Love Now & Dissect Later.

Love is the most effective connection to all things.  It has the power to enlighten, heal, unite, enrich and restore.  All we need to do is be open to it. 

-Leo Buscaglia

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