(Note: this blog is part four of a four of a series. To start at the beginning of the series, click here.)
“Throw it out, it’s dead anyway,” my mother insisted. I caressed my wrapped up treasure and carefully placed it in a cardboard box. I had hope, I had to try. My heart would just not give me permission to let go just yet.
I was an 11-year-old tomboy at the time; and the treasure that I held in my hand was an unhatched pigeon egg I found abandoned in my pigeon coop.
I carefully placed my desk lamp directly over the egg to keep it constantly warm, and three times a day I would rotate the egg around in the box that was now a nest.
My family thought I was crazy, and they anticipated the fateful day they felt was sure to come when the egg would eventually STINK!
Much to the surprise of us all, the egg hatched many days later, and then the real work began!
Our fears of intimacy show up much the same way as this unhatched egg did.
We see the fears, and then instead of taking action to explore them, i.e. encourage them to hatch; we let them sit around unattended as they slowly begin to rule our lives and our beliefs of what is possible for us!
Eventually, this causes our lives to STINK!
I did not have Google to ask back in 1975 the many questions I had for keeping my baby squab alive…it was all trial and error for me.
In the end, it took a lot of time, and tremendous patience before my baby squab became a pigeon and could be placed back in the coop with the others.
I had to slow down, contemplate, and share with others what I did and did not know, do things that were difficult, and to listen to the wisdom of others.
When is it time to slow down just a bit, admit what the truth is for you, and hear the truth of another? When is it time to truly share yourself with others while together you enjoy the human intimacies we all so desperately need?
For many of us, this idea of slowing down to truly connect with another brings about a fear inside of us far greater than death itself.
Are you experiencing some fears of slowing down and connecting with others?
Read part one of the series and take our quiz to see if fear is keeping you from the connection you truly desire.
If you have already taken the quiz read on.
Instead of addressing our fears of love and intimacy we find ourselves saying at a rapid pace, “Throw it out, it's dead anyway! Who needs it, I am fine on my own!”
How about I teach you a powerful remedy for overcoming fears of intimacy? We call it C.P.T.
I have been teaching you what C.P.T. is and how it works in the last several blog posts. This blog is the last of a 4-part series.
Before I share the T portion, I would like to recap the importance of the C and the P as all three parts of this remedy are important to achieving progress with befriending your fears of intimacy.
Facing our fears of intimacy takes tremendous courage. The good news is I have given you some fun, proven activities that you can do to develop your courage right here.
We put these two important principles together and ADD the T.
T is for time.
The time to talk, to touch, and to transform.
Time is required for us to: learn something new, create new beginnings, contemplate ourselves and ask questions to understand others more intimately, and yes, to reconcile our fears of intimacy.
To share a smile, a warm gentle touch, a full-bodied hug…it all requires the investment of time, our most precious commodity.
In our modern world, we are so quick to get from point A to point B. How many times a day do we say to our loved ones as well as ourselves, “Hurry up, let’s get going, I don’t have time for this…I have got to work.”
Not realizing we are robbing ourselves of the comforts that come only from human contact and connection.
Knowing how to begin taking the time when things have gotten so stinky and out of control can be difficult, so to help you get started, here are some steps to get you going.
Regardless of your age, where you grew up, what your religion might be, even your race and creed…WE are ALL filled up when we take the time to talk and touch. This transforms our ability to create connections with ourselves and others.
Having someone take the time to look you in the eyes, take your hand, give you a hug and say, “You matter to me,” causes all of us to break free of the shell that confines us. BREAK FREE! HATCH! LIVE!
With time…we can all hatch and transform allowing us to explore the love we desire and create deep connection with another person. It just takes a little practice with a touch of courage, which is sure to bring sparkle to your life once again. When your fears are getting the best of you, reach for some C.P.T!
Give your heart permission to not let go...just yet.
CPT is a Lease On Love practice we use with our clients for helping them manage their fears of intimacy and commitment and I am going to give you this remedy for free. Right here in the blog.
Would this blog post be helpful to a friend or family member or an old boyfriend or girlfriend? Is there someone that could use some love from you?
Please share the love and pass it along. We all need a little love and support from time to time.
Listen to the audio version of this blog here.
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Take the time to connect it will change your life. What is happening for you when you slow down and take TIME for connection? Inspire others by leaving a comment down below.